SEX IN A PAN

OK gentlemen, I have it on the best authority that Valentine's Day occurs on February 14 again this year, just two days from now. Like her birthday and your anniversary, you have an opportunity here that you should not squander and Mind Gass is going to help you. After taking her out to dinner on Thursday evening, suggest returning home for dessert and coffee (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) and then shock her with this guaranted-results dessert that even you can make. No cooking, other than popping the base in the oven for a few minutes (don't forget to turn the oven off!) you can make this on Wednesday night and pull it out of the refrigerator the next evening.

Once again, I guarantee satisfactory results, or your money cheerfully refunded (details below). It will take about a half hour and impress her right into the position you have been hoping for, guaranteed!

SEX IN A PAN

1 cup chopped pecans

1 cup flour

1/2 cup melted butter or margarine

Mix these 3 ingredients in a bowl and then spread on the bottom of a 9 X 13 pan, pat down lightly with a fork and place in a 350 degree oven for about 10 minutes (set the timer)

1 8 oz. pkg cream cheese room temperature

1 cup icing sugar

1 cup Cool Whip thawed (buy the tub in the freezer section)

Whip these 3 ingredients together (with an electric mixer) until they look like softened butter and spread over the cooled base from the first section

1 pkg instant vanilla pudding mix

1 pkg instant chocolate pudding mix

3 cups whole or 2% milk

Mix these 3 ingredients thoroughly in a bowl so that the pudding mix sets and then spread this mixture over the other two in the pan

Top with the balance of the Cool Whip and cover with clear wrap and refrigerate until about 15 minutes before serving

A cup of decaf (regular if you're brave), perhaps a cream liquer and a slice of Sex In A Pan and then watch the fireworks, better still, participate in the fireworks. Now, if after you have taken all of these steps there is a failure to launch, then send all of the disappointing details to this blog, along with your name and address and then watch your mailbox for a full refund.