PILLOW TALK

Pillows have sure become complicated over the years. At one time, we just bought a pillow and moved it, folded it, fluffed it, lost it or did whatever was necessary to get comfortable with it. Then, we began to discover that there were different qualities and materials being offered, so we had to decide among various downfills and foams. We began making choices about loft, size, hypoallergenic and hard, medium and soft. Now, in addition to all of these choices plus a myriad of new materials that they are being filled with, there are also new covering materials and we have to know before choosing, whether we sleep on our side, back or front. How about all four - left side, right side, back and front? Some people, who shall remain nameless, have several pillows stacked beside the bed and change them throughout the night, I guess.

I bought a new pillow last summer that is supposed to be the ultimate in scientific sleep technology with space proven foams and memory something or other. I'm not sure what it's supposed to remember - my dreams, my name - since it's "space-age" maybe just the planet I sleep on. My memory recalls being significantly wealthier prior to its purchase. But alas, that was three pillows ago, as I have tried several other side-sleeper models and still wake up with a stiff neck. I can doze off in a movie theatre, in front of the TV and definitely, on a sandy beach, without a pillow in sight, but in my own bed, I feel like a trained seal as I flop and roll from side to side. Maybe I should take the dollar bills I've spent on pillows and stuff them in a sack and try that, or perhaps I should start taking a bowl of sardines with me, or someone has commented about something called, snoring....I don't understand, what is this snoring????