February 6, 2008
Today I am reminded that it is easiest to hurt the ones we love the most. Somehow, we are most susceptible to the slings and arrows of those that we hold nearest. The familiarity with and the exchange of deep seated feelings, creates the basis of vulnerability that allows us to hurt, or be hurt, in a way that could never happen with casual friends or acquaintances. Sometimes we are desperate to help our loved ones by pointing out an area of weakness or concern, and in so doing, create a defensiveness in them that leads to harsh words or thoughtless responses. If we didn't love them, we would never mention the concern in the first place. If they didn't love us back, they would never lash out in the hopes of hurting us. It's hard to take the sting out of a passionate rebuke, but a hug, an "I'm sorry" and an "I love you" will usually heal a broken heart. Of course, sometimes we just have to stand by and let those who are the most important to us, live and learn and grow and change in their own time. It takes courage and real love to stand witness to other's faults and mistakes, without trying to help or make it better. This may be the toughest love of all.